|
OK, I looked and played through "Prelude" quite thoroughly and I have some critiques.
The question is whether or not you're trying to write a piece that is melodic or harmonic. You mentioned in your first post that you weren't trying to be "musical", which, for a piece of music, seems a bit impossible. If you are trying to be harmonic, there are a lot of missed opportunities throughout the piece. For example, the chord on beat 4 of measure 2 would lead very well into a B-flat chord, but instead you have what looks like an E-flat-ninth.
There is a lot of clashing going on harmonically, a prime example being measure 3. Beat one sounds timid, and beat two is made up of a flat-ninth interval, which sounds very off when there are no notes in the chord other than those two.
Before the first fermata in measure eight, there should be a written "rit." It sounds better that way, less abrupt (and there was a ritardando in the MIDI). I like your use of mushy chords like the one in measure 8. Tasty.
Measures 9 and 10 (and 29 and 30) are my least favorite ones in the whole piece. I don't like them because they seem very disconnected from the rest of the prelude, and from each other too. You have all of these syncopated rhythms and 16th and 32nd notes going on in the left hand, and whole notes in the right hand, and everything is separated by fermatas. It sounds very clunky, almost like there are two different songs in these two measures, like the pianist can't make up his/her mind. The last fermata in measure 9 messes things up for me because with such a wild rhythm in that measure, it sounds very much like it would lead right into the next measure, but instead there is a hold. And the same thing happens twice. It doesn't seem to go anywhere, or contribute anything to the piece.
You set up a great little section from measures 11 to 16 (This is probably my favorite part of the piece). Measure 11 is so different from the beginning section (and separated by a double bar), that I think you should duplicate measure 11 to provide a better setup for the melody that begins in measure 12. What I like about 11-16 is that it's quite melodic, even with the harsh chords. I like how it's all linked together by a common motif (the rest, quarter, quarter, quarter thingy). And there is a great flowing part in the left hand which I love. I feel it builds up too fast, though. You go from piano to forte in just a few bars. Let the melody sing a bit more, and have a longer buildup...it will make the forte all the more powerful.
Measures 17-20 could use some smoothing out. There is too much variation of rhythm. Having a 32nd note run followed by 3 quarters is the musical equivalent of tripping or falling over--there's nothing to indicate that the 32nd notes are coming, and it's over before you know it. This sort of thing could be used for a scare-effect, but the way you've used it makes it more of a WTF? effect. The next two measures demonstrate the same problem: 32nd and 16th notes jumbled together, followed immediately by long half notes. Too clunky.
The run in the left hand of measure 20 is misleading; it goes up and up and up and up and then...down a half step? This is a very important part of the piece, the reintroduction of the main theme. Having it change directions right when the theme comes in again makes it very jostling and unnatural. There are a couple of ways to deal with this: (1) change the run so that it continues its direction the whole way up into the chord in measure 21. (2) have the run change directions sooner, so that it's not so much of a surprise so soon before the theme returns. (3) Have the run lead into the top note of the chord in measure 21, not into the middle of the chord. This will help the chord sound less surprising because there aren't a bunch of notes suddenly being thrown on top of the run.
The chord in beat 4 of measure 28 requires 6 fingers on one hand. I can sort of play it because I have a hitchhiker's thumb, but a lot of people don't have one.
In the last measure, along with another 6-fingered chord, we see two chords which basically have no reason for being in the piece. They don't have anything harmonically in common with any other notes in the prelude. Usually the last note of a song will be tonic, bringing closure to the piece. The extremely weird chords seem so out of place that people would not know whether or not the piece is over. This could work if the chord led into "An Evening with Nico Canzano", but it doesn't. You should either change the chord to let people know that the end has come, or change it to lead into the next piece.
Overall, it's a bit too chopped up. You have a lot of interesting tidbits in this prelude, and you have the opportunity to expand upon them all. Some composers take one motif and make a symphony out of it. This piece has a lot of those good kinds of things, so I think you could afford to make the piece a bit longer and more developed. Make it say something meaningful.
I look forward to checking out your other pieces. Thanks again for sharing!
|
Mar 13 2007, 10:30 AM
Linear Mode
