I love this piece man, well done! It has an incredible energy, really palpable. It is also incredibly jazzy, which I really like, all those major minor clashes and the opening is so mellow that I feel as if I should be in the corner of some jazz cafe smoking weed! It just washes over you in an incredibly slinky way. My favorite part being the fantastic climax that you build up into the second section. You really build up that opening so well and then when you feel this sudden surge forward into the big tutti, its great!
I liked the second section, the little repeated cells seems to owe a little to minimalism, and it works really well, with little motifs sticking in your head. If I were to criticize then I would have liked for you to have changed time sigs ever now and again to wrong foot the listener as it didn't take me long to feel the pattern and I was dying for you to lop a quaver off the bar, or to add an extra beat so the patterns shifted slightly.
I felt that about 2 thirds of the way in, it felt like it lost its way a little, as if it were running out of steam because I had felt that everything up until that point had been well paced and then it lost my attention a little bit.
I loved the ravelesque harp glissandi, very colouristic use of the orchestra, perhaps a little heavy in places but non the less very effective.
As has been said already, the score is very hard to read, it is too closely packed in, and I found it hard to keep my place whilst listening to the piece. I think it is a piece that you should definitely try and get performed, it would sound amazing played by a live orchestra! However, I would suggest tidying the score up quite a bit (I am such a neat freak when it comes to scores
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All in all, superb work that I genuinely enjoyed, and as said before, I really loved the way you used quite a jazzy harmonic and rhythmic language!