Originally Posted by Richard Lederer

LAWYER: You signed the death certificate? PATHOLOGIST: Yes.
L: Before you signed the certificate, did you take his pulse? P: No.
L: Did you check to see if he was breathing? P: No.
L: Did you listen for his heartbeat? P: No.
L: Well, how could you be sure he was dead? P: I've got his brain in a jar on my desk, but I guess he could be walking around practicing law somewhere.