View Single Post
  #12 (permalink)  
Old Jul 7 2007, 10:17 AM
Daniel Daniel is online now

Daniel's Avatar

Caffeinated Composer
Group: Moderators
Joined: 25-August 05
Posts: 4,735
Member Number: 145
Your label of A minor is wrong - that's an F in second inversion.
You have 4ths between bass and alto in several places.
The piece *does* lack a well-crafted progression. You have too many minor chords in a row, and you basically go about in a circle.
I would have made the second chord a C in first inversion (if using your bass). Double the E to avoid having a 4th between bass and alto. When writing for 3 voices, you can double or have octaves of notes, but rarely.
Anyway, you must decide for yourself how the progression goes, but you have too many weak chord progressions in a row.(not to mention parallel 4ths)

I'll get back to you.