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Old Sep 5 2007, 3:09 PM
QcCowboy QcCowboy is offline

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ok, now break your melody up into its componant elements.
what is "important" in your melody?
what is worth using as motivic material for a larger piece of music?

are there any rhythms that could be modified to make the phrase clearer?
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In musical criticism, when issues of craft and technical consideration are set aside, what remains is more subjective. However, until technical issues are dealt with, the subjective portion bears considerably less weight.