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I suppose this could work as incidental music. I don't really see it as a standalone piece.
I enjoy dissonant pieces, but in some spots here it seems to be that way for no apparent reason. There are some good ideas in here but no cohesiveness to hold them together.
In oreder for others to comment on your work, it is always helpful to comment on as many peoples works as you have the time. They will usually return the favor.
Welcome to the forum and keep posting your works. In time if you do as I suggested, others will come to hear your music.
Ron
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 "Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new." Albert Einstein
"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." Albert Einstein
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