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Hi Steven,
I think Matusleo's assessment and suggestions are terrific. It sounds like you've got a post-Thalbergian Reinecke-Litolff-Henselt thing going here. What separates that group from the "immortals" are the elements of melodic and harmonic originality. Those composers (especially Thalberg and more especially Henri Herz, who both represent an earlier style than your piece) could never break the bonds of close harmonic relationships, and could rarely produce an unexpected cadence. But they were all masters of passage-work and effect. But this is not enough. I too enjoyed almost every measure of your concerto movement, but not the work as a whole. Structure is the last frontier.
Vary your orchestra textures, give the piano more rest. The theme on page 25, after the 2/4 measure, is inadequately stated with only 2 voices, the right hand melody and broken chord accompaniment. At least fill in the right hand with octaves and 3-5 note chords. The theme itself, as much else, gets mired in repetitive rhythms, and the harmonies are too predictable. You must break the anchor-line and move more freely through tonalities. Study the likes of Chopin, and even the Tschaikovsky first concerto for this, as in the long running up-and-down 16th note passage in 2-hand single-notes towards the end of the last movement (with orchestra accompaniment stating the second theme motive), leading to the last long orchestra tutti before the final slow statement of the (second) theme. Study that passage well and you will quickly see what there is to learn from it. And listen for true development in other works, as opposed to sequence.
The thing is, you have a real talent for expression through passagework, and a solid sense of the romantic idiom, strongly derivative though it is. There is nothing wrong with writing in this style, but study the greats closely... the Rachmaninoff concerti, Chopin concerti (though not many orchestration lessons there!) and ballades, Tchaikovsky... and see what makes them successful and original. Some things can't be taught, such as melodic genius. But you have so much ability that I feel you can improve if you study what makes melody and harmony great in the music of others. Keep at it... never stop perfecting yourself, and listen very carefully... outside your chosen realm!! Apply what you hear in non-romantic concerto pieces to your own work. Bach has much to teach you (us) about harmony.
Actually, your concerto reminds me most of the Alkan concerto for solo piano, from his collection of etudes op. 39. Listen to it! He is a very fine composer.
Best of luck, and Happy New Year!
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