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  #1 (permalink)  
Old Dec 27 2005, 12:24 AM

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Hi all.

I've enjoyed listening to the music on this forum, and decided to post some of my own.

I'm not a music student, but I enjoy it as a hobby. I play both the flute and piano. I'm actually an electrical/computer engineering student, but I take as many music classes as I can fit into my schedule.

This first piece is actually based off an improvisation I had. I don't really know what sort of techniques I used to come up with the composition. I usually hear a melody when I'm idle, or studying and decide to record it. Usally music theory comes in when I decide to record the melody and remove mistakes like parallel fifths, and etc.

I consider the flute part 2nd year since the student has to be able to reach D 2 octaves from middle C, and play 16th notes with relative ease.

I used mostly simple chords for the piano part, which I consider 1st year (which explains the very simple chord progressions).

This is my first post on YC forum. Any feedback is appreciated.
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  #2 (permalink)  
Old Dec 27 2005, 12:37 AM

Nicola Canzano's Avatar

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Is this your first composition? If it is...nice job!

If it's not...it's extremely immature, and your never go outside of the key. On top of that you use 3 chords. I, IV, and V.

Typical for 6-year-old composers...or beginners of all ages.

Keep writing...your melodic ideas are good.

Cheers,

Nico
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  #3 (permalink)  
Old Dec 27 2005, 12:50 AM

Starving Musician
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Quote:

Typical for 6-year-old composers...or beginners of all ages.
Wow, that's kind of harsh


Tweak- have you considered adding variations to the theme? I imagine some well-placed adornments and arpeggios would be nice for the piece, as well as a slightly faster tempo. But in any case, it's kind of nice to hear something composed with beginning musicians in mind
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Old Dec 27 2005, 1:14 AM

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I must say, it's refreshing to know that there are some people writing for beginners.

This is a very nice piece, elegant, charming. It very much suits the level of player you are writing for. The melody is simple, catchy. The chord progressions are likewise. Everything technically seems to be in order...

HOWEVER...To sum it all up in one word and a conjuction, it's boring. Like Nico said, you never stray from the tonic key, you use only 1 4 5 progressions for your chord structure, and all in all the piece is a bit "amateurish."

Don't take that too harshly though! You have good musical ideas, but you must vary your theme (as 327o said), suprise the listener and keep them interested, and most of all, you must make your music your own. This piece could have been writen by thousands of people, none of which anyone knows the name of, and would likely, if written 300 years ago be labeled "Traditional Folk Song" or something ridiculous like that, with no name attributed. Mozart and Beethoven are known for their unique styles and having pushed the limits of music at that time. You must expand your musical ideas (get ideas by listening to lots of music!). This does not necessarily mean that your music must be more difficult, just unique.

This piece is simple, not like life (absolutely not like life), but simple, like what everyone wishes life would be like. I hate to get philosophical, but music isn't just ink on a page and pretty sounds! Example:

Life ≠
Life =

I do not say all this to degrade your work, but only to incite in you something that is more than just fluff and sensitivity. Perhaps those who will play the music won't understand, perhaps they will, but that's not the point.

By the way, I do understand you're new to composition, or relatively at least, and that you may not be terribly schooled in music theory and instrumentation.

If you really want to get better...just keep working!

Take care,
Evan
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"If you develop an ear for sounds that are musical it is like developing an ego. You begin to refuse sounds that are not musical and that way cut yourself off from a good deal of experience."
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Old Dec 27 2005, 1:42 AM

Starving Musician
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Quote:

Life ≠
Life =
LMAO. That is great.
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  #6 (permalink)  
Old Dec 27 2005, 1:42 AM

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Typical for 6-year-old composers...or beginners of all ages.
Lol! You should hear my other pieces . My objective was only to get through an entire melody without unintentionally inserting dissonance, parallel fifths, and other musical beginner pitfalls (which I happen to do quite a lot, and not too well). Next I will try to see if I could use better chord progressions and try changing keys.

Quote:
Tweak- have you considered adding variations to the theme? I imagine some well-placed adornments and arpeggios would be nice for the piece, as well as a slightly faster tempo. But in any case, it's kind of nice to hear something composed with beginning musicians in mind
I'm currently studying different chord progressions and harmonics. Arpeggios; that's a nice idea sounds more interesting then a simple 1 4 progression. I'm currently working on a more complex piano piece in a minor key (Actually, it modulates between a few keys). I hope to finish it soon.

Quote:

This piece is simple, not like life (absolutely not like life), but simple, like what everyone wishes life would be like. I hate to get philosophical, but music isn't just ink on a page and pretty sounds! Example:

Life ≠
Life =
I admit the piece's a bit simple (as in waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too simple), but I'll try more realistic pieces after I learn more about different chord porgressions and harmonization (The piece stays in 1 4 and 5 since I only knew 1 4 5 progressions at the time I wrote the piece )

Thanks all for the comments. They helped me improve my composition. Any more feedback?
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It's not "Atonal." It's "Constantly Dissonant!"
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Old Dec 27 2005, 2:17 AM

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Wow, that's kind of harsh blink.gif


No it's not. You can never tell sarcasm over forums. I meant well ^_^

You didn't have any harmonic flaws however. When first composing...try to go beyond the limits...restrict yourself later ^_^.

I'm sorry if what i said came out harsh...I'm having a bad night anyway. I promise I mean well!

Keep writing!!

Nico
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  #8 (permalink)  
Old Dec 27 2005, 2:53 AM

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Truly this is my first piece, but some of the other things that I tried composing but never finished were a bit too atonal for my tastes (Maybe I can try landing somewhere in the middle). I actually don't think any of the criticism is harsh. I knew you meant well, Nico. I just got a good laugh out of that comment
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It's not "Atonal." It's "Constantly Dissonant!"
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Old Dec 27 2005, 1:44 PM

Nicola Canzano's Avatar

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Ok, goodie! KEEP WRITING
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  #10 (permalink)  
Old Dec 28 2005, 12:02 AM

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I agree with everything everyone said.

Try variation, try new chords, try bigger themes, try modulation, and your music will improve SOO much! Once you learn all these things, they will all happen in your music subconciously, you won't mean to do it. It just sounds right. Also, variation will help keep the audience paying attention to your music. Try throwing in a nice leading tone, bringing you to another key and then restate the theme. So simple, yet it catches the audience by suprise, and holds their interest.


Keep writing and keep learning!



Evan Duffy
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