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The problem isn't the polyphony, it's the harmonic progression. If you're going to use common practice tonality you can't meander. I suggest listening/studying to some adagio movements from Bach's Brandenburg concertos, that's a bit in the vein of what you're doing thematically/harmonically/etc. You actually have a pretty decent grasp on counterpoint. Infact it was quite good, you've just got to refine the harmonic motion. So yeah, don't listen to anyone on this thread who's saying, "It sounds like 3 seperate lines, make it more homophonic", that's completely ridiculous. You're doing fine!
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