Mael,
I said I'd listen last night. Forgive me; my connection was slow, and I didn't have time to even get my thoughts on the 2nd movement posted. Now, however, I'll post my comments after listening to the entire piece from beginning to end.
Overall:
Your use of melodic material was very solid and certainly contributed to the cohesiveness of each movement. Also, there were points where I especially took note of strong writing for each orchestral section--winds, brass, strings, even perc--which gave your orchestration a balanced, satisfying feel. Kudos!
I. Mvt. 1:
A. Praise:
-Intro had good tension and set up the entry of the soloist well, implying the stormy mood you described
-The phrase extensions (1:58-2:03, for example) lent a natural direction to the sections in which you used them
-Regarding orchestration, the pizz. section at 3:02 was very effective, and 4:40 had a nice counter-melody. I also liked the lively accompaniment line at 3:30-47.
B. Some thoughts:
-Some harmonic progressions, as I said before, struck me as not only unconventional, but slightly unconvincing.
They just didn't draw me along through the sections--kind of seemed "meandering." I would suggest you check to make sure that YOU sense the direction, ie, that they're backed up with YOUR "intention," if not by normal "convention."
-The last chord seemed anticlimactic. I'd say just let the sax climb up and land with an orchestra downbeat--no 2nd orchestra chord. Just my opinion; particularly becuase this is just the 1st movement, you don't need to over-emphasize the finality of the ending.
-I wasn't totally "sold" on the idea of the sudden solo trumpet figure between the sax solo and big tutti at 4:05-ish. Might you add another voice/some melodic interest there?
II. Mvt. 2:
1. Praise:
-The bass movement at the beginning (repeated 1, w/ occasional 7th), was very stylistically appropriate, in my opinion. Good ear!
-At 2:75, I liked the woodwind's and sax's intertwining lines. The following string entry with the previous theme was masterful.
-4:55--another good setup of the solo entry, using brass this time
-The ending was very poised and quintessentially classical. *breath of fresh air*
2. Thoughts:
-Though the beginning melody was very nice, providing a nice introduction to the contrasting movement, the sound of venturing very briefly into another key (at the end of the 1st phrase) and then jumping right back might not be best. If you want to do that, maybe start the second phrase in the same "key-feel" and then get back to where you started by the end.
-at 4:20, I don't think a complete release of energy works best. Consider that you've already dissipated the energy you'd built up by having the orchestra drop out and continuing with the sax line. I think if you connect the end of the sax solo with the section after 4:20, you'll get continuity and still achieve the relaxation into the original mood.
III. Mvt. 3:
1. Praise:
-the 12/8 feel provided good energy that helped the final movement
-at 6:15, letting the orchestra and sax play off of eachother gave some nice forward motion
-Good use of melodic fragments to accompany the sax at 3:20
*Off-topic comment: I actually thought the theme here sounded slightly darker than the main theme (introduced in the 1st orchestral tutti) of Mvt. 1 (not the intro: that had definite angst). Just thought I'd give you my opinion. The first sounded more declaratory, whereas this conveyed more agitation, in my mind.
2. Thoughts:
-at 5:37, as I said with the 2nd movement, I would not allow for a total break in the sound. I think you could simply overlap the last chord of the brass with the entry of the energetic perc./sax section. "Phrase elision/melds" sometimes even cause the last measure of one phrase to serve double-duty as the 1st phrase of the next. You'll just have to decide if you really want to set the next section apart, or if you'd rather connect things.
-Your recap was great after 6:50, but I was totally caught off guard by it. Could you build up a little more anticipation and "set it up?"
-Perhaps the end of THIS movement would be the place for an extra chord, in lieu of the one at the end of the 1st movement.
-One final word about the harmony. I again felt that the dissonance at 2 mins. was a little too sudden. Also at 4:17; these spots seem to break the general "frankness/candor" of the classical harmony you've employed elsewhere, if you understand what I mean by that description. I would just encourage you to take another look and consider what would be within the bounds of the "neo-classical" style you're shooting for and what would sound out-of-bounds.
For never having written a piece of this magnitude myself, I certainly ventured to say alot! Let me reiterate the commendable job you did in capturing some classical rudiments on which to found the piece and still making it your own. The piece had some very enjoyable moments beyond the overall energy that kept it from becoming stagnant and monotonous.
Glad to listen!
Brooks