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Ron,
This piece has possibilities, The opening is very strong as is the section from about 1:33 to 2:40. The change in atonal harmonic styles doesn't bother me but it may do so for many listeners.
There is often not a lot of space around each instrument so the parts get blurred - is that what you were using Sonar to achieve? I'm more of a purist who likes to hear each instrument. There is a touch of an electroacoustic sound to your mix - not necessarily bad but on the other hand a curious use of real instruments.
The glides (glissando) at 0:40 may not have the effect you want. The cliche from movies and cartoons is that this represents inebriation or "seeing stars" after a bop on the head. Once something becomes a cliche it is hard to use it otherwise.
The happy mood that sets in abruptly at 3:50 and persists is a surprise. It can be heard in a comical way which I'm sure isn't your intent. I was expecting the happy mood to gradually metamorphose into the previous mood but it didn't. I think the ending needs work. Or perhaps have the happy section occur earlier - it seems too much a change to occur just before the close.
I had an idea this morning that you might introduce a folk melody, or melodies, about war and superimpose these well-known melodies over what you have. Just an off-the-cuff idea - say "When Johnny Comes Marching Home" or "Two Grenadiers".
Asdie from the ending, I think the piece is very close to satisfactorily expressing what you intended - which is the whole point, isn't it?
Herb
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