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gms5287 is being far too harsh. I don't think it 'comes off' like that particularly.
What twelve tone system did you use? It's evidently not classic Schoenbergian serialism, since chains of notes are frequently repeated; that's what makes it sound tonal, is my first complaint with regards what might otherwise be an interesting composition.
My second complaint is that of rhythmic and dynamic contrast and continuity. I have always found atonal music's 'tonality' incredibly hard to appreciate beyond liking a few of its more interesting, melodic phrases. For this reason, rhythm and dynamics are of the utmost importance. In the case of classic serialism, sometimes this means that if one altered the notes, the piece could be turned into something that sounded tonal and classical. In other cases, it simply means that the piece is rhythmically interesting throughout, despite unusual deviations from precedent.
Volume likewise is crucial; I felt you overused the left hand accent, and had little in the right hand to counter this. Invert (bad choice of word!) some of the phrases so that the right hand gets octave accents, and the left hand staccatto passages.
P.S. Goodridge is not a particularly common name, and I've recently been deciphering some 16th-century Chancery Petitions that involve a legal battle between 'Nicholas Thorne and Robert Goodridge' over the establishment of an ancient public school. The latter has the most scrawly, convoluted and complex handwriting I've ever seen. Perhaps you're distantly related.
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