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I've listened to this, studied the score and played it myself, and I have much praise for it - but if you're re-writing the piece, maybe I should reserve praise and criticism for later.
I probably need to step back and think about what I would say, because it is close enough to being what I would call an excellent example not only of Sonata Allegro form, but of a sonata movement as in a larger work, much of what I'd say at this moment in criticism would be along the lines of what I personally would have done instead, and I'm not sure that would be helpful to you. I'm a Classical-Revivalist obsessed with authenticity, and most others are more interested in the general flavour and not the details.
Suffice it to say, for now, that I was impressed. This is a quality effort.
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