The song is really... dare I say
"cute"?
I like the choirs, and the orchestration further into the piece... I'm not sure that guitar fits though, it sounds kind of cheesy. I would change it to spicato violins or something, if you can't find a better guitar sample. Other than that, I wouldn't change it at all. It may not perfectly describe what you tried to accomplish, but it's still really nice... sounds like it would fit into "Dawn of Mana" actually.
