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Practice, Practice, and more Practice.
See also: Practice.
About the comment that "is it so much of an absolute truth that 'writing what's in your head' is the best way of composing?" I'd say that no, hell no. There is no "best way" to compose, and there are tons of styles and techniques which are precisely geared at doing the opposite of writing "What's in your head." Aleatory music, process music, etc, and serialism (Nono, Stockhausen) are designed to kind of let other parameters and variables decide how things sound like, rather than the composer's intuition.
Though, ultimately, the intuition is what holds it all together, you can abstract from it as much as you want.
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