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I thought there were some really cool sounds in this piece, and liked the style.
I did think however that it needed more variety and momentum. I think it may help if you developed the harmonies more, filling in some of the gaps, as this would go a long way towards achieving this. I also think it may help if you gave some lower voices the melody a lot more, as this would give some variety, making up for the lack of timbral variety.
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