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Old Apr 24 2008, 7:20 AM
walkingwikipedia walkingwikipedia is offline

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Joined: 4-February 08
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Member Number: 4208
I do love the use of tritones!

However, I feel the melodic line introduced at the start and later used as a baseline could benefit from some revision in terms of its role.

It provides a nice starting point for the piece, but by halfway through the piece I was sick of it. Then when you removed it, the sudden change in the piece gave an empty feeling, structurally unsatisfying. On the other hand, when it was brought back again, I just wanted it to stop, and it went from being a really nice line to a nuisance.

I think that to improve the piece you could look at removing the repeated line after the beginning at points where it isn't essential, to make for a more pleasant listening experience.
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