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You need to listen analytically to your compositions and decide which elements work well and which do not. For example, the parallel compound melodies in thirds sound pleasant, but are boring. Similarly, the two-part counterpoint sections are interesting, but sound unpleasant. The most successful moment in the composition was the section that was vaguely Beethovenian (with lots of chords), whilst the 'fugue' was by far the least successful.
Write more pieces with parallel counterpoint like that you used at the start of the piece. Parallel counterpoint is fairly straightforward to command, and forms the basis for many other forms of part writing. Over time you'll work out what 'moves' work, and which ones do not. You can, for example, move by step in contrary motion to move in and out of sixths and thirds in parallel. Eventually you'll want to use far more contrary motion that parallel motion, since this is ultimately more pleasing to the ear. For the time being however, I suggest you continue with those elements of counterpoint that you know work.
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