View Single Post
  #3 (permalink)  
Old May 2 2008, 4:45 PM
robertn robertn is offline

robertn's Avatar

Composer/musician.
Group: Members
Joined: 9-December 07
Posts: 306
Member Number: 3901
i'd say, add some creativity..
meaning, drop the contrived rhymes, for right now it feels as it were written by a 14yr old writing it's first lyrics.

don't get me wrong, it's ok to rhyme, but like everything else in life, use it with moderation.
__________________
pardon my english.
Reply With Quote