This piece has possibilities but there is a lot of parallel motion between parts, especially doubling in octaves.
Are you intending a piece that could be played or just an electronic one? There are problems for a real ensemble. Instruments that can only play one note are playing two or three.
I muted the piano, flute 2, oboe 2, clarinet 1, bassoon 2, horn 2, trumpet 2 and violin 2 to remove most of the doubling. To me the sound is as good if not better. (The passages with more than one note for instruments that can't do this can be moved to the corresponding muted part.)
With some rhythmic variation, the chromatic ideas of what you have could be extended. Or use some question and answer between different instruments.
What you have has very much the sound of a finale (ending) so perhaps look to adding on to the front and building up to what you have.
Edit: This piece of mine is an octet which uses some parallel motion between parts but not octaves. See
here