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I updated the first post (and the piece) and tried to take more care with the movements. I reorganized them to a degree, and changed the ostinato to remain literal throughout. Modulation to Em still occurs at the 7th iteration of the bass for 3 bars (might be the wrong word for that, if it is I apologize). At the 10th is where the inverted ostinato begins (theres no 11th right now, so there is where it ends)
There are still some sour spots, possibly due to the tritone Zetetic mentioned. The uppervoice accompaniment in 5th and 6th is new material that seems to fit well. Some of the fingering here got a little out of hand... to the point where it might not be possible to play (unless you have 3 hands). I'll need to iron out those kinks as well as others.
That said, should I vary the ostinato at all? Or does the modulation and inversion handle that well enough already?
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