well then musically i found this uninteresting, but from a deeper point of view i think you captured the emotion you were going after. the only critique i could make is that i felt you could have gave longer values to the notes instead of the huge amount of rests. keep the rests in there, but make the phrase you have and/or add some short phrases to give the listener a sharper contrast between the rests and notes. i look forward to you posting more work here
Vince