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Old May 9 2008, 5:51 PM
Dev Dev is offline

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WHY SO SERIOUS?
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Joined: 14-November 07
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Two things I'd suggest:

One, there are a few spots, like measure 23, where you have Bb in the piano but the singer sings B natural and it sounds like you couldn't decide between minor or major and it's not great sounding

Two, and this is just a try-it-out-and-see-if-you-like-it suggestion, but try having the singer's last note be G# and sharp the G in the bass of the last piano chord. The piece feels minor overall, but the fact that occasionaly you switch into a major sound makes me think you'd enjoy ending on a major chord as well - it's a very Bach thing to do, if that appeals to you.
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