Hello
I see you have taken my advice, and well it was definately well applied. I heard a motif, and then again, and then again, and then again
Thats good. I wasn't overwhelmed with too many motivic ideas. And the fact that you used a tri tone was good too.
I actually wrote something different *HERE*, but deleted it, because I am listening to your recording again and it would contradict what i say. You really have explored beyond the tri tone too and taken it into tonality in some areas. I have nothing more to say about it...hmm *thinks hard to find something you could apply to your next one*
Climax. I saw little swells of one everynow and again, but still no orgasm in the middle/end/wherever of your piece. Something a lot of people get wrong when it comes to climaxing in a piece is that it 'HAS TO BE LOUD AND FULL OF SOUND'. This isn't necessarily true. I am going to paint you a picture using masturbation as the center of this advice....so if you are going to feel offended, just dont read it.
When you 'go to town on yourself', obviously it takes a little while before you actually feel any extremes of pleasure. You have to get yourself there. With this, it can be the begining of a piece. And then slowly but surely, that wonderful feeling in your gut comes upon you and you start to build up...haha...momentum. This, as we know, is when we are getting close to climaxing. Sometimes though, you will get so close and then stop...this is what i would compare to your climax swells in your improv i just heard: it swelled and got close to being a beautiful array of sound and suspense, and then you pulled back. In masturbation, you will usually go back to a nice normal pace, and then slowly build it again. Depending on how long it takes you (
) you will finally have swelled a fair few times, and then will want to reach the ultimate climax. There are two ways you can do so. Usually if you are alone and no one can hear you, a loud moan and well...whatever comes out next...will join this climax - you heart races, and you feel so much pleasure in this 4 seconds of an orgasm. This is like a loud, crazy, perfectly timed climax in a piece of music...
Then the other orgasm is when you are not in the house alone and you know that whatever you do, yuo have to be quiet. This is the other type of climax. You can pretty much reverse the other explanation here. There can be a climax in silence. Small notes. Here and there. Splashes. It is a quiet orgasm, and it can have the same effect as the louder climax.
Then obviously you die down and end it.
Gaspard de la Nuit - Ondine by Ravel. This shows fantastic control of climaxes and builds them appropriately.
Now, the climaxe examples are just my opinion, but we all know taht a piece needs to climax. Its very hard to display my ideas in words, but hopefuly you got the idea. Give it a go, with a new motif...when you have the time...and lets see how well you can masturbate...uh..i mean, write music haha.
Also, its very expressive
Well done.