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Unfortunately, this is hard to critique outside of context.
It seems like it peaks at the beginning. Like perhaps you throw everything you have at it right away. The harmonic language is very 'film-score'. I think with the present orchestration it is better fit for a video game. Actually, it sounds quite a bit like a video game score. Like a overture, displaying a lot of the themes of the game. It seems like there is little difference between the volume at the beginning and the end.
just my two cents.
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