I'm not sure how to approach this...
The swing feel bothers me...I think it might work better straight - with more floaty ECM-type accompaniment. I dunno...I'd slow it down, make it real ethereal ballad-y thing.... Also, your triadic voicing gets tiresome. Changing the voicing - opening it, closing it would help alleviate the static feeling, giving the music a little more lift and direction. The harmony is nice, but do something to perk the ears and maintain interest...
Also, a notational note: where you have the rhythm: quarter, dotted-quarter, dotted quarter; make the last dotted-quarter note an 8th tied to a quarter. It'll make reading easier if the off-beats look like off-beats. ...
And, on page 3: I hope you weren't expecting a nice clean glissando in the trombones. All your bones will have to cross partials to do it. It'll work, but it might not be as glissy and clean as you're expecting.
That said, there's definitely potential in here. Keep it up.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fourthage
Perhaps this would be better in teh Jazz section?.
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(It
is in the jazz section
)