I quite like it...it's a fun, convincing pastiche (and I use the word in the good sense). I can't see why any music college would "rip it to shreds". I think it's a very good idea to show them that you have a good ear for musical styles, and are a flexible composer.
It's better than alot of the stuff I sent to the Birmingham Conservatoire for my audition, and I've got a guaranteed place there now, so you should have no problem!
I submitted this baroque style piece which took the word "ripoff" to a whole new level. And there was a film-score style one which was just...well...naff!