You don't really need to write the drum parts out, but I understand if you did it just to be able to hear it. If you want any tips on writing the drum parts, you can email me at
jwhitmarsh.stu@okcu.edu
I'd like to see a score if at all possible, but if you can't do that it's fine.
It may just be the MIDI, but I feel like I'm playing a Mario game. I would suggest listening to some more big band - this sounds more like a showtune. That's not exactly bad, if that's what you're going for. I just feel like I'm playing Stunt Race FX (props to anyone who catches that.)
The bottom line is no one would leave this performance and say "That was bad" or even "That was mediocre". That doesn't mean it couldn't be better though. I think in general it seems like you have too many unison lines, and not enough harmony, but I could be wrong. Like I said, a score would really help. It might go on just a little long. I think you could make the ending feel more like an ending, maybe by scoring it a little heavier.
Just some thoughts.