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Upon one listen, here's my knee-jerk reaction. There's a way to notate speaking, and putting a lyric under a rest is not it. That was rather confusing at first. But it looks like an interesting idea that could be used well.
For those most part, I thought the melodies and harmonies were enjoyable, went fun places, though lacked focus in some points and felt to be wandering.
My biggest thing, and it seemed you only did this in the alto part, but you had them singing WAY too high. Altos up there hitting Fs and Gs? That's got to be re-written, or split the soprano part, but that's way to high to have altos singing. Give them something rich and round to sing under the sopranos. I love that the song starts with alto, right in a good resonating spot, but then you take them all the way up there... not gonna be pretty.
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~David
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