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Unfortunately I can only go by the score. My biggest concerns are the following:
Check how your lyrics align with the notes. Seems notes missing for text. Second, dynamics and tempi above notes for vocal parts so that the vocalist can read the words easily. Also, when you have an e flat in your key signatutre, you do not require a D# UNLESS you are moving to e natural and implying a tonal shift. Third, I think there will be a problem with "love of" around mm 59 - 61. Love is a dipthong which with the word "of" may sound like a stutter. Fourth sing all of your lines! It seems in some sections you did in others you didn't . One of the most important things about writing vocally --- even if you aren't a vocalist, at least you will get a rough sense what is difficult and what is easy.
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