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the "same notes, different hands" thing is playable... it's relatively common in piano writing. it doesn't always work well. unless you're a pianist and have a good grasp of hand movement when working on something like that, it's probably best to avoid.
here's an image of some of the ways you could notate the passage (I just improvised a repeated pattern):
the 1st measure has the entire thing notated in the upper staff, in different layers.
the 2nd measure adds your low bass note as a 3rd "cutaway" staff, while keeping the "one-hand, one staff" manner of your original piece.
the 3rd measure simply shows how if the material warrants it, you can start out both on the same staff, then cross-staff the lowest notes into the bass clef staff.
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"Those that know, do;
Those that understand, teach."
-Aristotle-
"toute audace engendrée par l'ignorance cesse d'être une audace et devient une maladresse"
-Debussy-
In musical criticism, when issues of craft and technical consideration are set aside, what remains is more subjective. However, until technical issues are dealt with, the subjective portion bears considerably less weight.
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