As I was listening to your piece, I got the most hilarious yet interesting impression of it breaking into an insane metal riff... I don't know why lol.
As for the piece, it's off to a great start! I will say that somewhere along the way, the overall sound should become more full, because right now it is a tad hollow sounding, if you know what I mean. I like it though! It sounds like a good soundtrack to a video game.
(By the way, your updated link isn't working. The one in the above post)