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You know your musical theater writing very well - and a nice voice as well. That said, I think you can vary your material a little bit - your verse/chorus structures are very rigid. One thing that marks the "greats" of modern musical theater (barring pastiche pieces like Reefer Madness and Urinetown) is a great amount of variation in at least some of their work.
I mentioned the same thing in your song "The Palio" - and your work here is more varied than it is there - I assume it's because you're writing for a particular character and that makes you engage more. So I'd suggest taking "The Palio" from a theater-perspective, rather than a concert perspective and seeing what that does to it.
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