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I agree that there are things in the lyric that still feel forced. I'm trying to work on those. Any specifics of note?
Interesting about the harmonies in m70. I'll take a look at that. Now that you mention it, I like the idea of doing something different before going back to the verse harmony. This one is rather strict, because I'm going for a sort of folk-song type sound. Not an American folk song, an Italian folk song. Obviously in 5/4 and 7/8 it's not that folk-y, but that's the tone I'm trying to set. But I'll play with those things in 69-70.
Also, and this sounds like I'm fishing, but I'm just curious. You mention "parallel structures." Do you mean in the music or lyric? Or both together?
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~David
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