Hi Christopher!
Congratulations on this piece, it's quite lovely. I do have a number of comments about it but on the whole it's a wonderful little song.
To begin, the piano accompaniment is effective enough and carries the rhythmic liveliness of the piece well enough, but it ended up feeling stale to me by the end - you started it out with that pattern but then it seemed like you were hesitant to depart from it as the song itself evolved. I would have liked to see an evolution in that part. Come m.36, for example, you have an interesting call and answer in the more subdued piano accompaniment which leads into a very cute and musical-esque ending. To be more precise, after m.24, I would have liked to see you present that piano accompaniment in a more developed and interesting form instead of just repeating the same from the beginning.
Moving along, the jaunty rhythm suited the lyrics nicely and the time signature changes help to keep listeners on their toes without confusing them utterly, which I find can sometimes happen when a composer goes trigger-happy with the time signatures. The brief section in 6/8 time at m.20 was really nice - though I would have probably made it staccato myself - and I would have liked to see that developed more fully; perhaps even in that section between m.24 and m.36.
Melodically, the song is solid and the harmonies support it well, though the tune ends up undergoing some unusual mood shifts because of your frequent modulations. That usually works well with the lyrics, it just makes the song a little harder to grasp and relate to the first time listening through it.
Otherwise, it's short, it's fun, and it'll be extra fun when/if you get it performed live. The lyrics aren't bad at all - they're nothing particularly special but then they don't have to be, and they're not quite as hopelessly tacky as some songs in this style inevitably seem to be. Maybe make some revisions in the accompaniment (vocal line is fine) and then you'll have a real gem on your hands.
Thanks for sharing!
