Originally Posted by Antiatonality

Why do I compose?

Well, I've read everyone's responses to this, and they're all very good reasons to do it, much better than my reason for composing. I wish I could STOP composing. Really, I do. I could be happy having money and a "real job", but NOOOOO, I had to be ambitious and decide that I was going to be the next John Williams, Andrew Lloyd Webber, or Mr. Holland. Funny how that worked out for me... because I'm none of these.

Truth be told, I compose because if I don't, eventually my mind becomes cluttered with different musical ideas that just occupy my brain to the point that I can think of nothing else but those ideas. I've been doing this for years, first actively when I started learning how to compose, then unconsciously after years of study. Composing, at least for me, is like taking a very big, massive poop.

Music and I, we have a very dissonant, love-hate relationship. I hate it when I'm composing a piece, but I love it when I have the final product. I could care less if someone performs it, I just want it out of my head. No joke.