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Oingo,
I think this piece has a lot of potential. I like the harmonies you've used. Wonderfully dissonant. I personally would have liked to have seen more of a melody in the section starting at bar 13 but that's more of a personal preference than anything else. I personally would have scored a slow, gradually ascending melody in the low brass but it's your piece not mine.
With the section starting at bar 28, I would definitely support the addition of an ostinato pattern like the strings had earlier, possibly in the bassoons/low brass? At the moment that section lacks a sense of real movement. This is probably partly due to the fact that I can't hear the trumpet (I agree with you, double it on piccolo) but I think that the piece would start to sound a bit too disjointed if the wonderful sense of motion you built up in the strings were stopped so soon. If I were you I would proceed to built this up to another fanfare, but stop it quite abruptly. It might be an idea to continually return to the fanfare throughout the movement - you could make it one of those obsessive themes that never seems to go away! Just a suggestion though, you can completely disregard all my suggestions if you want.
Keep up the good work!
- ClassicalSax
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Work(s) in progress: Concerto for Alto Saxophone and Wind Band
Symphony No. 2
A Series of Impromptus For Solo Alto Saxophone
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