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Interesting piece and certainly ambitious. I found it to be a little poppish in terms of its harmony. I also think that it could be made a little shorter, the piece drags a little from the 5-8 middle mark. Also, as some people said the variation isn't enough. Perhaps instead of just ornamentation you could develop your ideas into more dramatic climaxes because at times the piece does sound repetitious and lost. But, the orchestration was good and your melodies aren't bad. With a little work this could be even better.
Oh, and don't mind Justin Tokke, (whisper) I think he's retarded.
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