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Originally Posted by Matthaeus
Very nice song, but harmonically it's a bit boring.
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I tend to be a boring person. A lot of my songs are very mundane. I think part of it truly is my personality, but another part of it seems to be that I can never find a harmonic place to go that really satisfies. Although I often do feel like I'm hemmed into a harmonic box.
I do appreciate the suggestions of D/G or D/Em. After the 4 row. I'm sitting here with the guitar right now though and can't seem to get anything I like for this particular piece, but I am discovering some new arppegios patterns using D - Em - Bm - G
I might end up with a whole new song.
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If you do not leave the Bm-G axis, your harmonies become static (there will be no real change in harmony).
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I known I have a problem with static harmony a lot. I find it very difficult to break out of a harmony. Although often I can hear it in my mind, but I can never find the chord I want. It's like it doesn't exist in the real world.
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I mean I expect a melodically much more interesting material from the last three (5th-7th) rows after the long and harmonically static "intro". This can be easily done by for eg. singing on a higher pitch and altering the melody a bit (or replacing with a new melodic part).
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I know it needs go somewhere. Even the use of the A(sus) chord was kind of a feeble attempt to break out of the harmony rut, but it seemed to be a dead end. So I just left it hang, and then started over again. Taking the third verse to C#m and using a slightly different arpeggio for those rows was my desparate and feeble attempt to finding a new harmonic place.
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Btw. the lyrics are self-written? I like it.
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Yes, and as simple as they are they took a month to write. As short and simple as this song is it was slow going. In fact, I almost gave up on it twice but it just refused to go away.
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PS. If you like your song as it is, just easily ignore my comments.
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It is growing on me now that I've been playing it for a while. I do kind of like the simplicity of it. I tend to like very simple things. Having said that, I'm always open to trying something new too. After all, it's not like the original piece will disappear. If I do something better, that's great. If i can't find anything I like better, I always have the original.
Also, a whole new song could be born out of trying to change this one up.
Thanks for talking the time to listen, and posting your comments, I'll play around with the D/Em a while and see if anything comes of it.
P.S. I just listened to the piece again myself, and I totally agree with you, it's screaming for some kind of change on line five. At the moment, going to D there doesn't seem to be working for me yet. Maybe a melody change will work as you've suggested. I'll keep toying with it, this song just seems to want to progress slowly yet at the same time it also seems to insist on being written. It just won't go away.