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Nice first attempt at an orchestral composition. Since you are young, I can say this: you have a nice disposition for music and, most of all, sensibility. You've got a lot to learn still... I wonder how much regular (private/college) studies you have under your belt. Personally, I think you should start studying theory (harmony, counterpoint and later orchestration) much more in depth. Without boring you with pointing out the "trouble spots, from the very first page I could tell you are still at the beginning of your journey. I also started "big". Many of us did! You shouldn't stop writing if it pleases you, but, at the same time, you should roll-up your sleeves and get to work on the basics. I bet that in a year or two you'll realize how many more tools are out there for you to sharpen your skills and deepen the emotions you are willing to express through music. It's a lifetime of learning.
Good job and good luck!
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