Thanks, Evan! Very informative comments I'll take them all on board. There are a few things which confuse me though - you say I should make the melodies and harmonies pull at each other - what exactly do you mean by this? Also, you suggest I use more dissonance - to be honest, I rarely use dissonance, because I'm still not tutored enough on how to use it effectively, but I'm beginning to get the confidence to try, so if I come back to edit the work, I will definitely try out your suggestions. Another thing I'm not sure of yet, is how to create interesting melodies...my theory is still very bare, so I wouldn't know how to shift keys precisely to create a different effect - normally I get my melodies by a little bit of ingenuity and a LOT of trial and error. I'm hoping to tip the scales the other way when I educate myself more
Also, the afternoon walk really isn't trying to tell a story, more paint a scene - dimming sun, perhaps a large open field that is surrounded by some oaktrees, covered in autumnal leaves, crisp, cold air, but not too biting; and solitary, but still, thoughtful. I tried to keep that/an image in my mind while I compose so I don't stray too far from my idea of what the music should sound like. Nevertheless, its background music if anything. The second piece is more like a story - my first real attempt at a story actually.
In regards to Slave Driver - yes, the second section, which is only half complete, is the slaves on revolt. So if you can sense the energy rising, or being different, I suppose thats a good thing. It will end with a return to the first theme, or some of them at least, but will end up with the slave driver now the oppressed one, something of a Hegelian inversion
Anyway, it was just a bit of fun I had this afternoon and I'm glad you enjoyed it! All the best,
Pravin.