Whoa, that's a ton of reverb! Doesn't sound like a concert hall... more like a cathedral! Also, the clarinets seemed a bit too strong and I thought I heard oboes, though that could have been the trumpets.
A very nice, hymn-like feel. I love the slow transformations from chord to chord, and the melodies you use are very distinctive and memorable. However, I got the feeling that it was rambling just a little bit. This felt like it should have been a bit shorter, like it was strung out too long. Part of this, I think, was that there weren't really any contrasting sections - no tempo changes, major textural shifts, or even a great deal of dynamic contrast. While it got the ideas across, I thought it could have done so more effectively; the shifts in events were cued by subtle changes in harmonic language, and thus they were very hard to detect. It would work well as background, but as a concert piece it seems a little repetitive and too subtle.
A few of the chords right at the end seemed out of place from what had just been laid down for ten minutes, and the instrument on the 3rd at the very end (perhaps violas or something, I couldn't tell) was quite glaring. I think you'd want to stick to a perfect authentic cadence after such a piece, putting the root in the top voice and providing a more conclusive ending. If you're going to end on the 3rd like that, you probably need to ritard a bit and anticipate the ending a bit more in advance, then get around to the actual end gradually. What might work is just to take that final chord and have most or all of the ensemble fade out, then back in slowly, maybe with just a timpanum roll carrying over the break.
Nice work... very sentimental and convincing, considering the scenes you were using. Relaxing, too - I think this was the musical equivalent of a good back rub!
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Thanks, Sean; I do plan to keep this in my portfolio, and I too like it better with horns. However, considering the "desert" theme of the piece, saxophones would provide a kind of raspy edge to those parts that could add to the feel like the muted trumpets already do.
I did email Thomas saying that if that high D is too much for the first trumpet, he can take both trumpet parts there down an octave. I think that was just a lapse in attention on my part, from being excited about finishing the piece. I play the trumpet and am well aware of what is difficult for me.