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for example, the entire Kyrie sections are pp-mp, while the Christe is F-FF. This was because the supplication to Christ was more immediate and personal to me. Maybe like a person might confide more honestly to a friend than to a parent? So at that moment the sense of despair and anguish is more apparent.
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Ah, of course. That all makes sense.
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I can imagine many situations where a person might feel rejected by the Church...
This was a reaction to one of those.
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Yea - I understand.