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Thanks for your interesting comments so far.
At this point, I'd like to reply to the one particular comment from Sean about the language flow: despite my being fluent in English, it is not my mother tongue. In particular, I have no (well, little anyway) idea about which syllables would get more stress than others in the text I selected.
Therefore, although I can understand the comment and will surely try to improve this particular aspect in future compositions, this is not something that will be easy for me in foreign languages. Had the text been in French, then I would surely have been more successful in this area.
The comment from arellys on tempo is interesting. I find the setting of a proper tempo something very difficult. Even more difficult as writing the actual music. Perhaps something that could be interesting is keeping the current tempo for stanzas and slow down a bit the tempo for the chorus, to 66 quarters per minute maybe (that would keep the pulsation steady when moving from C to 12/8, the pulsation being at the dotted quarter instead of the quarter).
Again, I really appreciate the comments. It's a good way to improve, knowing what's effective and what's less effective in one's work.
Raphael
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