The Dark Hole Of Your Mind

This is a song I wrote for the musical I am writing right now. It's arranged for piano, electric guitar, electric bass, and a keyboard with a pitz. strings sample library loaded (this is because the strings part is not possible on a real strings). This the song a halucenation of the main character's girlfriend sings to the main character.

The lyrics:
Lies can't be what we want them to be.
Still the days go drifting away.
For your future refrence, I will not feel this shame.
Oh, this dark self-brought pain.
Of my heart.

This disease of my mind, rots my thoughts.
Come real close, no you drift away.
This love is too painfull for me to linger here.
A waltz of un-truth we dance here tonight.

Leave me forever,
we will not live this fallacy one more day, tonight.
What I find in darkest corners of your mind,
A place that one cannot believe.
A dark hole, a dark soul, endless lies you live.
I can go no longer, dream.

Lies can't be what we want them to be.
Still the days go drifting away.

Originally Posted by last life

This is a song I wrote for the musical I am writing right now. It's arranged for piano, electric guitar, electric bass, and a keyboard with a pitz. strings sample library loaded (this is because the strings part is not possible on a real strings). This the song a halucenation of the main character's girlfriend sings to the main character.

The lyrics:
Lies can't be what we want them to be.
Still the days go drifting away.
For your future refrence, I will not feel this shame.
Oh, this dark self-brought pain.
Of my heart.

This disease of my mind, rots my thoughts.
Come real close, no you drift away.
This love is too painfull for me to linger here.
A waltz of un-truth we dance here tonight.

Leave me forever,
we will not live this fallacy one more day, tonight.
What I find in darkest corners of your mind,
A place that one cannot believe.
A dark hole, a dark soul, endless lies you live.
I can go no longer, dream.

Lies can't be what we want them to be.
Still the days go drifting away.

Interesting lyrics, I have yet to listen to the piece. I don't really see how these lyrics can make a song though. None of these line's ryhme with one another, why?

hey, it doesn't have to rhyme to be a song right? I'm buyin, cool stuff. Thx for sharing.

Will ! ahahah... James right... who cares about rhymes ?? Do some if you wish... you can write a piece without any major chord if you wish also. I just don't really see what this song's doing in atonal or experimental music though. Anyhow... it's nice, it reminds me of the songs I wrote at 17

It has major chords in it.

Very very weird.. It'd be hard to sing.

OMG- That song was beautiful!!!!!

Originally Posted by Dunael

Will ! ahahah... James right... who cares about rhymes ??

I do, you really should stop acting like I'm wrong for simply having on opinion, you seem to have this thing about that. It's a matter of skill, it takes actual skill and thinking to have a poem that ryhmes, this, is just random thoughts on a subject.

'tis be true. But, most Broadway (modern at least) and or the like songs don't rhyme. It should be more like a conversation...

Originally Posted by Will Kirk

I do, you really should stop acting like I'm wrong for simply having on opinion, you seem to have this thing about that. It's a matter of skill, it takes actual skill and thinking to have a poem that ryhmes, this, is just random thoughts on a subject.

I have writen many songs that do have rhymes. I also write alot of poetry that contains ryhmes. This song even has some imperfect rhymes in it (shame/pain, believe/dream, mind/live etc.), that occur at the end of lines, and some perfect ryhmes that aren't placed at the end of the line (we/be, dark/heart, hole/soul etc.). You can have an opinion, but you are wrong in this situation, and also you are implied that I have no skill with this comment