Errand Boy

This was the first tune I've EVER written with words. It utilizes a few big band idioms, the usual awesome funky baseline, catchy melody, and nifty horn riffs.
You'll get the general idea from the midi/mus, but the recording's more accurate.
The recording was rushed and done with little time/money to spare, and there are some nailbiting errors in there so we'll obviously have to do it again...

Errand Boy
I've got a fax
For Central Station
Let me remind you this is no joyride
When you get back
Before the hour
I want Havarti by my side

Be sure to call
Shirley in accounting
For the meeting in the conference room
For now that's all
You should get going
I want you back in here by noon

Go Errand Boy
You'd better run run run
Go Errand Boy
You gotta get that job done
Oh Errand Boy
You're working five-to-nine
Errand Boy on time

Simplicity
There's no objection
Just as long as it ends up on the desk
Take it from me
Use your discretion
And fulfill this last request

I need five hundred
Letterhead coppies
Neatly stamped with tomorrow's time and date
Don't you ask why
You know already
It's not your job to evaluate

Oh Errand Boy
I've got a job for you
Oh Errand Boy
You'll increase revenue
Oh Errand Boy
There is a close deadline
Errand Boy on time

Guess you did not
Recieve the memo
We sent to you several times last week
You were laid off
After your hard workin'
Now you'll be living in the street

Go Errand Boy
You'd better run run run
Go Errand Boy
You gotta get that job done
Oh Errand Boy
You're workin' for a dime
Errand Boy on time

Frankly, I think the music itself is fine, and I know the recording has a few errors, but do ya'll have any tips on lyrics?
Many thanks!

~Kal

A good groove. Nice melody. Cool backgrounds. Not terribly inventive or ambitious, but that's not really the point now, is it?

One thing that might solidify the tune a bit would be some sort of drastic textural change. You have very cool instrumental options - flute, vibes, violin... would be nice to change the groove a bit more, perhaps a short break-down section somewhere. BUT...whatever.

Are you hip to Groove Collective?

Nigel, your writing has progressed quite a bit, I hope you keep up with this.

Thanks! Not all of the members of the band are as talented as others, which means I have to write out EVERYTHING for some of them, so the more complicated it is, the longer it takes to learn, and since we only practice once a week....

But yeah, it was supposed to kinda simple...Almost following smooth jazz, I wanted it to be jazzy but for every-day, non-jazz-listening people to enjoy it.

Originally Posted by robinjessome

Are you hip to Groove Collective?

No, but I do now. I'll have to check them. I love playing a Rhodes...
Thanks again!

~Kal