Exile

This is what I have so far.. sorry if I disappointed some of you who where part of the "Dark" Languages discussion..

It's my first piece that I have ever written and finished, it's VERY repetitive because of the lyrics, but I will be adding a few things to it to take away from that repetitive-ness.

It's sorta based off of a song in the Wii game "Metroid 3: Corruption" on the level "Cliffside Airdock" I really liked that song and wanted to make my own like it.

*Things I WILL be adding:*

1. Towards the end I started experimenting with other voices on the first chorus part. The "Bkg Voices" Started intertwining with the main Lead Voices to hopefully take some monotony away from the song.

2. Maybe some drone changes, it's the same G and Bb over and over and over throughout the whole song, I might change it to some bass progressions stuff when there is nothing going on.

3. Taking some of those extra measures out. You will know what I'm talking about when the drone is all by itself, but I haven't figured out how to delete a whole mesure out of the score.


I know it's not finished, and normally I wouldn't post an unfinished song, but since it's my first piece I was eager to hear what others thought about it. The song itself it VERY monotonous and hopefully once I'm done it won't be, but, for now, I hope you (somewhat) enjoy Exile.

a. what language is this
b. were you intending to have this performed or is it only ever meant to be computer-generated?

Not bad, sounds "epic". It's quite emotional actually, I like it. There's some things you could maybe do to add some depth, like give a slight variation, if just in pitch, to the bass line. Also occasionally you've got some chords like in measure 21 that are just a whole step apart, which I think sounds... odd. Overall very nice though, especially when all of the parts come in together.

GJ

Originally Posted by Dev

a. what language is this
b. were you intending to have this performed or is it only ever meant to be computer-generated?

a. It's made up, I might re do all the words in Anglo Saxon (old english) if I can.. other than that, it's completely made up.

b. I want it to be preformed, but I don't see how I could ever get a choir to do it, once school starts again I might show it to the choir director at school and see if she can get it to work, because our choir is.. pretty good. just out of curiosity, why do you ask?

Originally Posted by MonteCristo

Also occasionally you've got some chords like in measure 21 that are just a whole step apart, which I think sounds... odd. Overall very nice though, especially when all of the parts come in together.

GJ

Could you give some other examples about these odd chords? measure 21 doesn't have any chords.

Also in the end I'm thinking about doing some sorta.. big minor chord like across the whole choir, or maybe just have the bass line do something to end it.
I am working on some bass line variations at the moment. and thanks for the comments Monte!

Originally Posted by Smart_A1ec

Could you give some other examples about these odd chords? measure 21 doesn't have any chords.

Well actually all of your staffs constitute into making chords there, and anywhere else too where you've got different notes playing at the same time. For instance, what I meant was that you've got like a dotted quarter note at 21, which (going by memory now) is an A. Likewise in the bass part at the same you've got a G note going on for a while.

G and A are essentially constituting a diad in which the interval is a major second (I'm pretty sure it is, or a ninth because of the octave.... I'm just a sophomore in high school though so you will really want to ask one of the more experienced members of the forum because I'm going to probably be corrected on this post lol )And to me that just sounds... wrong sort of, like when you push two adjacent keys on a piano and it makes that "erky twang".

It's really not that noticeable though, and you've got a great piece on your hands.

Oh, and the higher pitched part of the melody sounds... choppy sometimes ;P

Originally Posted by MonteCristo

Oh, and the higher pitched part of the melody sounds... choppy sometimes ;P

yeah that's because i messed up the triplets into an a single triplet rest and two notes, it wasn't suppose to be like that just haven't gotten around to fixing it