Film Music Competition

I hate to have to say this, but you said you wanted harsh criticism where it's warranted, so here goes...

I liked a few bits in it, but overall, it seemed really uninspired and awkward. There aren't any strong melodies, with the possible exception of a motive heard around 2:45. The harmonies are often fairly interesting. This might work for another genre if revamped a bit, but the style didn't really fit film. Of course, I could be wrong, depending on the scene you chose to write for. What was your scene?

Analysis of Competition Piece No. 1 (#100)



This piece is divided into two sub-movements, An Epic Battle (#100A) and
The Aftermath (#100B). The setting for the piece is on the roof of a deserted structure, in some remote location as the sun is setting. The scene depicted is completely original.

An Epic Battle (#100A)

As the piece opens up we see the protagonist, shoulder length hair blowing gently in the breeze. As he glides slowly forward we see his face, hiding behind his wind-blown hair, with a stern look of determined concentration. This sternness, however, seems to be subtly broken by a softness in his eyes, almost one of despair.
At measure five we see him slowly draw his sword from it’s hidden sheath underneath his dark leather cloak, and the metal glistens in the setting sunlight. The camera slowly pans in towards the blade as the protagonist raises it and takes a slight fighting stance, continuing his gentle forward movement. As measure 9 begins we see a reflection in the metal. It is a vague image of a man, one with hair twice as long as the protagonist. He is leaning with both hands ever so slightly on his own sword, which he is holding in front of him. His clothes resemble those of the protagonist, only obviously much longer worn and heavier used. His face is concealed by his flowing hair, but it is hard not to get the impression from him that he is a man of much experience and sorrows, undoubtedly many more than the man who is now approaching him, sword drawn. At first, he is unmoving.
At measure 13 the camera has gotten so close to the sword that the reflection becomes the whole screen. It is now that the man in the reflection, the antagonist, raises his head to look at his approaching adversary. In his eyes, you can tell that he knows this man. He smirks, ever so slightly, giving the impression that he is being approached by a long lost friend. As measure 19 ends he picks his sword up and brings it to his shoulder, holding it casually. There is a poignant moment where time seems to stand still. Noticed in the corner of the antagonist’s eye, only visible because of the glint of light reflected from it, is a solitary tear.
At measure 21 everything starts moving fast. As if waking up from a dream the protagonist’s sword swings away from the camera, causing the image of the antagonist to vanish. Replacing it is the anguished face of our hero, with the same soft yet stern face of determination rallying into an inaudible battle cry as he rushes forward. The camera swings into the air and shows both characters running towards each other. With stunning agility and precision they begin to do battle.
At measure 37 the mood changes from focusing on external events to internal. Time slows down as memories start to flash across the screen, sliding in and out of the battle scene. The memories show the two characters in different scenes throughout their lives. It seems as though they were at once close companions. In fact, the mood seems to suggest that they are best friends pitted against each other because of some dark event in the past.
Soon, it is obvious that the protagonist has the upper hand. At measure 53, With time still slowed down, he slowly brings his sword down for the death stroke. For a few seconds, time stands still as the camera pans around to the sides of the characters, showing clearly each of their faces. Directly after the first sub-movement ends, in the few seconds between sub-movements, time suddenly returns to normal and the sword plunges into the antagonist’s chest.

The Aftermath (#100B)

With the antagonist still alive, yet fatally wounded, the second sub-movement begins. The camera zooms in on the antagonist’s face. Cringing in pain, he looks at his murderer. After a moment, a look of satisfaction comes across his face. Without a hint of regret, he smiles and slowly reaches out towards the protagonist. His fingers touch our hero’s face, and then he falls backward with the blade still in him. The protagonist lets the sword fall with his enemy, and he himself falls to his knees at measure 71.
At measure 77 the mood becomes one of bitter accomplishment. Tears fall from the hero’s face as the camera slowly pans up and away from him in a circular motion, taking in the whole scene. The camera slowly pans out even further, until the men are just specks on the roof of the building. In the distance the sun is seen setting behind a river, shining off of it like a million diamonds. More memories start to flash across the screen, this time of some betrayal the antagonist had committed against the hero. These memories start to interchange between the ones shown earlier, and then the scene goes back to the setting sun at measure 119. At measure 123, the scene goes black as the credits scroll.

Ok, that does work a little better than I expected, I can visualize what's going on a little bit, though it's not always clear. While it may work with background video, I don't think it works as well as a concert piece.

Are you influenced somewhat by anime?

Never touch the stuff.

Oh well. I couldn't really put my finger on why I was thinking that anyway.

Say, Keith and Tumababa, care to post your entries? I don't think anyone would mind.

I suppose. What's the harm?

There's something I learnt about this piece while I was fiddling around with it and it has to do with harmonic colour. The harmonies in this piece get a little boring after a while. I'm going to change some of them to be
a little more varied.

Also, I am going to extend the recapitulation of the rising motive I use right before the halo section at the end. I didn't make it obvious that it's a major structural feature. Also, I could vary it a little as well harmonically.

Your harmonies often seem nearly atonal. It's rather easy to see why this work wasn't selected - it's both difficult to approach for a concert audience and difficult for a less than expert ensemble to put their fingers to confidently in a short time.

On the other hand, the coloristic effects you use are often striking, and you really show a nice grasp of how the instruments work together. You also have no hesitation to step outside the box. Great work, but I do agree, there are things you can do to make it more interesting. Not that you need to force this piece to conform to the auditory desires of a concert patron, you should make the piece whatever you really want it to be!

Your PDF score is rather confusing at times. From what I can tell you know about making a score, I know you're capable of cleaning it up - you know how to create cross-staff beams for piano, after all. There are a lot of collisions, and you have the first and second violins spread into four staves. The convention for that would be to have two staves and indicate divisi or tutti as needed. Also, for some of your high first violin notes, you might consider using harmonics instead - the effect you seem to want is strained, and harmonics will grant an increase in the strained quality of those high notes.

ATONAL?

Wha-ba-gah?

Are we listening to the same piece?

I would have used two staves for the violin divisis but it would have been so cluttered it would have been illegible. There are some spots where I could have done it and it would have been clean though so point taken.

I was going to use harmonics, in the version of this score I have but I had doubts about an amateur ensemble playing them well especially divisi. I played in an amateur orchestra and at this one rehearsal it cam to light that half the violin section had never played a harmonic in their life.

Heh. I didn't say atonal, I said nearly atonal. Though I admit that's a bit of an oxymoron. A lot of small bits in your piece just seemed fairly tonally uncentered. But I did hear lots of very tonal chords, yes.