Home  Articles   Profiles  Forum  Chat  Lessons  Archives  Search   Store   Contact
Register Board Rules Member List Member Map Password Recovery Search Today's Posts Mark All Forums As Read Calendar Library
Go Back   Young Composers Music Forum > Upload Your Compositions for Analysis or Feedback > Choral/Vocal

Welcome to the Young Composers Music Forum. You are currently browsing as a guest - join today to post messages, upload music, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us.
Reply

 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1 (permalink)  
Old May 9 2008, 10:20 PM
Dev Dev is offline

Dev's Avatar

WHY SO SERIOUS?
Group: Members
Joined: 14-November 07
Posts: 225
Member Number: 3753
Fire and Ice (Revised!)

A short composition for a short poem - Robert Frost's Fire and Ice set to SATB chorus. Still some tweaking I guess but for the most part this is the big idea. Go ahead and tear me a new one when commenting, I'd like a wide range of opinions on what to change in the piece if anything. Two things though: I couldn't make lyrics go above the staff and below the staff for the two divisis (like in the bass around m. 24 or so) but I know I'm supposed to, and yes there are parallel 5ths - they are completely intentional and functional and most importantly not changing.

So have at it like a pack of rabid wolves if you please.

EDIT: I've taken all the commentary into consideration and revised the piece thusly. A lot of it is unchanged, and yet again some parts were totally reworked. Huzzah! Score and finale audio added below:

Original: Box.net - Free Online File Storage, Internet File Sharing, Online Storage, Access Documents & Files Anywhere, Backup Data, Send Files

Revised: fireandicerev.mp3 - File Shared from Box.net - Free Online File Storage
Attached Files
File Type: pdf fireandice.pdf (40.2 KB, 43 views)
File Type: pdf fireandicerev.pdf (37.4 KB, 6 views)

All music files uploaded by this user
Reply With Quote
  #2 (permalink)  
Old May 9 2008, 11:20 PM

tenor10's Avatar

Vocalist/Composer
Group: Members
Joined: 1-July 07
Posts: 743
Member Number: 3100
I've seen this text, and loved it, thought about setting it, not anymore!

I really really loved this piece. I think the chords were fabulous, and the dissonances were strategically placed in the perfect spots. This interpretation to is really quite good. Like I said i really liked it. Would love to hear it live.
Only thing I might reconsider would be mes. 12 It felt a little heavy with that bass split.

Overall very very well done!! Thank you.
__________________
Anticipation for Flute and Piano
http://www.youngcomposers.com/forum/...ano-15118.html
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old May 11 2008, 10:30 AM
SSC SSC is offline

SSC's Avatar

Sing, damnit, sing!!
Group: Members
Joined: 8-December 07
Posts: 781
Member Number: 3897
Just to comment on your ranges there, I'm really really not sure if having the bass section sing those Fs and the E(!) there near the end is such a good idea. I mean, same with the soprano singing in various parts a middle C.

That stuff isn't that recommendable unless you have a soloist choir, and even then it doesn't seem you had any real reasons for writing such extreme ranges. Same with the divisi in various parts, you have to write it as if it were 2 voices too (as you would counterpoint) rather than chord-like. But technicalities aside, a divisi in a choir thins out the voices so if you were intending to have it "fill up" the harmony you don't really need to do that unless your chords have more than 4 notes.
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old May 11 2008, 2:21 PM
Dev Dev is offline

Dev's Avatar

WHY SO SERIOUS?
Group: Members
Joined: 14-November 07
Posts: 225
Member Number: 3753
E2, F2, and C4 shouldn't be unreasonable for those voices. Well, MAYBE E2, but a bass should be able to hit F2 no problem.
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old May 17 2008, 2:04 PM

Fluxus Composer
Group: Members
Joined: 15-May 08
Posts: 39
Member Number: 4774
mmm, i dont like it, sorry, is borring...
__________________
Tomorrows horizons full of surprises, Don’t let them take your dreams away
You’ve got to keep your mind wind open, All the possibilities

José Pablo Fernández Magaña
Keep Your Minde Wide Open
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old May 18 2008, 8:21 PM
Dev Dev is offline

Dev's Avatar

WHY SO SERIOUS?
Group: Members
Joined: 14-November 07
Posts: 225
Member Number: 3753
but why - that comment doesn't help me in the least
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old May 18 2008, 8:24 PM

TheMeaningofLIfe's Avatar

Composer
Group: Members
Joined: 25-December 06
Posts: 665
Member Number: 1934
Wow

Wow, great job on this. The only thing I would be aware of in this context is cheeseyness. When you have everyone land on " is also Great!" its going to sound pretty funny to most audiences. You've got to remember the meaning of the text is not pretty and couragous it is dark and horrible and most of the music fits beutifully except for that part. I don't know if the uplifting chord at the end fits it either.

I'm not horribly familiar with the literature, but please look into this because it might not be good for you if you have this played and some elderly lady with an umbrella decides to clober you over the head.

On thing you might consider is altering the timing out of 4/4 and 2/4 to make it feel more organic with the holds and just place fermata's on them.

Most importantly though I would like to congratulate you for your work on this beautiful piece of music. The sus chords chill me to the bone in a wonderful way.

If I may make one more suggestion? Do more great work like this.
Reply With Quote
  #8 (permalink)  
Old May 18 2008, 10:34 PM
Dev Dev is offline

Dev's Avatar

WHY SO SERIOUS?
Group: Members
Joined: 14-November 07
Posts: 225
Member Number: 3753
I shall take this into the deepest consideration
Reply With Quote
  #9 (permalink)  
Old May 22 2008, 11:10 PM

Christopher Dunn-Rankin's Avatar

Eternity and The Mirror
Group: Members
Joined: 7-December 05
Posts: 1,147
Member Number: 372
Your ranges are fine. A middle C is no problem for a soprano at all.
__________________
work is love made [visible]

Please check out and review:

What Went Before
Self-Sufficience
After All
Hoping
Reply With Quote
  #10 (permalink)  
Old May 23 2008, 10:12 AM

blm22's Avatar

Dissonance Composer
Group: Members
Joined: 16-May 07
Posts: 181
Member Number: 2777
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dev View Post
E2, F2, and C4 shouldn't be unreasonable for those voices. Well, MAYBE E2, but a bass should be able to hit F2 no problem.

I'm 16 and I can sing an Eb 2, and my friend he's 16 and can sing lower than me and I don't mean growl I mean beautiful note.
__________________
I shall seize Fate by the throat; it shall certainly not bend and crush me completely.
-- Ludwig van Beethoven, 1801
Reply With Quote

Reply



Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 1:17 AM.

RSS

Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Proprietary software and modifications Copyright ©2005 - 2008, Young Composers
Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.1.0