first post

[attachmentid=2874]Hi. I'm a little nervous because this is my first post and i haven't been writing for very long. I'd like it if you would listen and reply. Thanks. However, computers hate me so this may or may not show up.

Well, for not having much experience, you're doing very well! You show good establishment of themes, understanding of string timbres, some textural variation, and harmonic function. Also, for being so short, this work shows a great deal of coherence and completeness.

You could try to vary things more harmonically. There's some variety, but it gets a little bland because you hover around the tonic so much. I guess I can't complain, because my latest work, a very short choral hymn arrangement, doesn't stray much from tonic either!

Good job, newcomer!

Yes, this is quite good, but could be better if not as tone-centred. Otherwise, a very nice little concert piece, perhaps

I honestly think your bass line gets in the way of the melody instead of supporting it. I liked the upper strings a lot, and can appreciate the effort put forth in composing it. However, the phrases are seperated bit a bit too much white space, and when you attempt at polyphony, it's just not locking in right. Nice work to start, though.

Sean Christopher Stork

Thanks for reviewing this piece and leaving some really good suggestions, but this work isn't really important enought for me to go back and change.

I appreciate the comment that Sean left me... at least I know how to right for the instruments I play lol! I tend to get a bit carried away with the upper strings and it makes it hard for the lower strings to do anything but whole notes and half notes... I'm really bad about that...

Thanks again...
-Jon